Day one, Day one.. start all over again

Music makes my heart beat.
So I start over again, this time just to hear what comes.

My mentor tells me I have a gift and that using it to sing pop may be wasteful.

Time to practice.

I have such trouble keeping practice hours lately.  This last year has been really difficult in getting my life scheduled to balance my interests.

Long term goal: find my artisitic interests and prepare for public display.

Firey Moon!

So it's been a while since putting some thoughts to keyboard.  I've consulted with a few experts in the areas of astronomy, hakomi, attachment practices and numerology.  What it all boils down to: this is the time of the feminine.  The Yin. Woman. Nourishment. Listening. Care. Damp. Soft.

I've been asked to soften.

I have asked to be listened to.

What's going on right now?

Waking in the morning.
Let the dog out in the yard.
Opened a few windows to let the fresh air in.
Turned on my work computer to check emails at the start of  my day.
Opened browser to my morning news sites.
Read a few semi-inspiring posts.
Let the dog back in.
Climb back into bed with work computer.
Back to email and SP.

Good, not great.

Today is taking its time.

I feel like a volcano inside.
Fire pouring and bubbling over.
Lava flow burping through its highest points.

Not able to think clearly.
Body is aching and bones shaking from within.
Eyes falling and tilting with lids of steel.

Saying all the wrong things puts a damper on the day!

I didn't run a half marathon!

It's been two days since I completed a great challenge. I DIDN'T run or jog a half marathon.  Instead I speed-walked for 13.1 miles.  As I'm getting older I'm finding that staying just below my threshold is likely going to help be get through the threshold sooner than if I plow myself from goal to goal. 

I've had many goals in my life. And I've reached many of them, quickly.  I have many that I have yet to reach.  It's interesting to me to find that at my mid-life point I am finding less and less interest in reaching my goals and more interest in being present now.  There was a point in my life where I was in awe of the journey, so much that it always seemed to pass so quickly I'd feel disappointment when I reached new goals. 

Life is like an onion, we peel off so many layers, of the same skin as we get older we revisit similar challenges we faced when younger.  I look forward to a time in my life where I feel the balance of the present, past and optimism for the future.

Will I experience that this week?   I'll keep my eyes open!

2 cones and Reeses peanutbutter cups!

Sometimes people blow you away with how well they know how to make you smile.   My best friend did just that for me today.

All my favorite treats, all my favorite topics, and gifts that help remind me how to smile.  I couldn't ask for anything else.  My ever need was catered to today. Everything was planned so well, almost like the day had be rehearsed.  I am having pure moments of enjoyment. Wow.

Thank you.

Giving gratitude to 34

• Chomped on Alligator meat
• Nibbled down frog legs
• Private yoga lessons
• Private singing lessons
• Personal training lessons
• Cried at a campfire
• Walked in the bayou
• Had an exorcism
• Donated more than $5000 to charities
• Mid Year Review
• Built a fence
• Played guitar and sang publicly
• Met an aunt and cousin
• Visited the U.S. Capital and D.C.
• Recognized my inner self's quest for family
• Lost my in-law's
• Found the most important relationship in my life

Thank you 34 - looking forward to a new start tomorrow.